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In our family, we don’t like to say that TJ, or any child, is “bad.” We try to be sure to label the behavior and not the child, and even then we try to avoid the word “bad.” We use the word “bold.”
TJ can be very bold.
His behavior isn’t unusual for his age. It seems he’s hit his Terrible Two’s a bit early sometimes. He dumps things out. He pushes buttons that shouldn’t be pushed. He touches household electronics that shouldn’t be touched. In short, he’s a normal little boy.
But some of things he does… he shows extra boldness.
TJ is allowed to play on the sofa, but he knows that touching anything on the end tables is against the rules. That doesn’t stop him from trying to grab things off the table or touching the mapshade when he thinks we aren’t looking. Then, when we catch him and tell him, “No,” he spins around with the biggest cheesy grin he can manage with his eyes closed and his head thrown back. Normally labelled the “cute face,” it’s obvious that 1) he knows he’s done something wrong, and 2) he knows he’s cute, and 3) he thinks that being cute will keep him from getting into trouble. Although sometimes we can’t help but smile at the cuteness and ingenuity, we have to make sure he knows that being cute won’t get him out of trouble.
So TJ gets a one-minute timeout sitting facing the back of the sofa. Mommy or Daddy sit behind him to make sure he sits; he’s not old enough to get him to sit on his own as a punishment yet.
Besides touching things on the end table, pushing buttons on the TV also earns TJ a timeout. The extra bold factor comes into play after he pushes the button. I noticed yesterday – when he got three or four timeouts for turning the TV on and off – that he would push the button, turn around and look me in the eye, and sigh very deliberately. That’s what I realized that I let out a sigh every time he touches the TV and I have to redirect him. So he’s come to expect me to sigh whenever he does it, and he decided to beat me to it. That’s the bold factor.
Touching Mommy or Daddy’s computers is also against the rules. He’s fascinated by them, of course, and this is complicated by the fact that both Grandmas let him play with their computers. TJ has perfected the art of distraction. He’ll bring his empty cup of juice to Mommy or Daddy and ask for a drink. When we go to the kitchen to refill his drink, he makes his move. I’ve started telling him on my way out that I will look in on him right after I move out of sight, and that he will have to sit and wait for his juice if he touches my computer. But he does it anyway. He did it in the middle of writing this paragraph! He stands there and laughs while I’m warning him not to touch it, and as soon as I disappear behind the corner, he touches it. And I come back and make him sit. I’m hoping he catches on soon.
TJ and toddlers in general are smart little critters. Even if they haven’t learned enough words to express themselves, they understand most of what we tell them. They know what’s allowed and what’s not allowed. And they love to push our buttons. I guess I should’ve made the title To boldly go where every toddler has gone before.
That’s me: Christina Gleason. I’m a writer, editor, and disability advocate. I'm a multiply disabled autistic lady doing my best in this world built for abled people. I’m a geek for grammar, fantasy, and casual gaming. I hate vegetables. I cannot reliably speak, so I’ll happily conduct business over email or messaging instead.
