Dear TJ,
You were really mean to me yesterday. I understand that you were upset because Grandma Kitty went to Michigan to visit your cousin Kyle. We dropped her off at the airport on Thursday and stayed to watch some planes take off. You spend every weekday with Grandma Kitty, and you were not happy that you were home with me yesterday. It threw off your routine.
I know you didn’t mean the things you said.
“I don’t love you too.”
“I don’t want to spend time with you.”
“I think not.”But knowing you didn’t mean them didn’t make them any less hurtful.
We’d had a really good morning until we went to lunch with Grandma Debbie, Grandpa Joe, and the rest of the family. That’s when you got to be bold. And mouthy.
We made up when we got home after lunch, and I let you go to McDonald’s to play with Abby later on. You deliberately disobeyed me when it was time to leave, and you laughed about it because I couldn’t get you when you ran back up in the PlayPlace. We had to leave so that Grandma Debbie could drop Abby off with her mommy, and you made everybody late.
You’re grounded from McDonald’s for a while. We had a talk when we got home. We’re going to have a talk with Grandma Kitty when she comes home about not making excuses for your bad behavior. You’re a good boy but you do bold things. And now you’re making excuses for yourself when you get in trouble.
“But I’m tired.”
“I’m so frustrated!”It’s okay to be tired. You can lie down and take a rest. It’s okay to be frustrated. We can talk about it when it happens. But neither of those feelings gives you the right to do bold things and stop following directions. I exaplined that to you in our talk yesterday, but I know it may take weeks or months to undo the wiring in your brain that makes you think you can get away with this stuff. Some of the grown ups in your life have not helped hold up a consistent behavioral front for you.
As I told you yesterday that I will always love you, even when I’m mad at you. I will always love you, even when you tell me you don’t love me. I will always love you, but I wish you wouldn’t be so mean to me when I’m trying to spend time with you.
Love,
Mommy
Wanna play? Here’s how to participate in Dear Kid Saturday:
1. Write your own Dear Kid letter on your blog.
2. Sign the Mr Linky below with your name and the link to your Dear Kid post – the specific post URL, not the homepage of your blog. DON’T sign unless you have a Dear Kid letter this week.
3. Grab a Dear Kid Saturday button for your post and/or your sidebar.
Mr Linky!
I just posted my letter. My first ever, on my site that isn’t actually launching until April 1st. lol. I’ve been waiting to join in on the fun for a while.. Sounds like you’re having a fun weekend. I’m sure it’s just a phase, part of growing up. Consider it practice for the teenage years… 😉
Hi! Here is the link to my 2nd Dear Kid(s) saturday!!
http://nicoleshomemadetreats.blogspot.com/2009/03/dear-kid-saturdays_21.html
Thanks!
here is the link to my letter on my blog:
http://nicoleshomemadetreats.blogspot.com/2009/03/dear-kid-saturdays_21.html
Thanks!!
Hi – just posted mine – but didn’t see your mr linky here yet?? heres my link to mine http://dearpeeps.blogspot.com/2009/03/who-do-you-love-more-mummy.html
its a phase – as I am sure my kids stuff is… just gotta get past it..
So weird… the Mr Linky was here earlier. I remember because I saw that Cindy had signed it. Something’s wrong with Mr Linky. Maybe I should just have people link through comments from now on. Mr Linky’s too temperamental!
The way TJ is acting sounds a lot like how Little Bear has been acting lately! She, too, has gotten really defiant and bold lately. Ugh, kids these days, right? 😉
Stopping by from UBP. It is very nice to meet you and your blog. I myself have a toddler learning/activity blog at http://www.superfunmama.blogspot.com. I would love for you to stop by sometime. I’m having fun visiting all the blogs. Have a magical day!
I love this Dear Kid idea and I plan to participate!
I’m not signing the Mr. Linky but I hope I can leave a comment!
This post really touched me. I think grandma’s tend to excuse disobedience. I know because I lived with my mom last year and she was always rescuing my then 3 year old!
I love the way you expressed these feelings. Thank you. It makes me feel more normal.
Mom Most Traveled