Dear Kid Saturday – Mean to Mommy

Dear TJ,

You were really mean to me yesterday. I understand that you were upset because Grandma Kitty went to Michigan to visit your cousin Kyle. We dropped her off at the airport on Thursday and stayed to watch some planes take off. You spend every weekday with Grandma Kitty, and you were not happy that you were home with me yesterday. It threw off your routine.

I know you didn’t mean the things you said.

“I don’t love you too.”
“I don’t want to spend time with you.”
“I think not.”

But knowing you didn’t mean them didn’t make them any less hurtful.

We’d had a really good morning until we went to lunch with Grandma Debbie, Grandpa Joe, and the rest of the family. That’s when you got to be bold. And mouthy.

We made up when we got home after lunch, and I let you go to McDonald’s to play with Abby later on. You deliberately disobeyed me when it was time to leave, and you laughed about it because I couldn’t get you when you ran back up in the PlayPlace. We had to leave so that Grandma Debbie could drop Abby off with her mommy, and you made everybody late.

You’re grounded from McDonald’s for a while. We had a talk when we got home. We’re going to have a talk with Grandma Kitty when she comes home about not making excuses for your bad behavior. You’re a good boy but you do bold things. And now you’re making excuses for yourself when you get in trouble.

“But I’m tired.”
“I’m so frustrated!”

It’s okay to be tired. You can lie down and take a rest. It’s okay to be frustrated. We can talk about it when it happens. But neither of those feelings gives you the right to do bold things and stop following directions. I exaplined that to you in our talk yesterday, but I know it may take weeks or months to undo the wiring in your brain that makes you think you can get away with this stuff. Some of the grown ups in your life have not helped hold up a consistent behavioral front for you.

As I told you yesterday that I will always love you, even when I’m mad at you. I will always love you, even when you tell me you don’t love me. I will always love you, but I wish you wouldn’t be so mean to me when I’m trying to spend time with you.

Love,
Mommy

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Christina Gleason (976 Posts)

That’s me: Christina Gleason. I’m a writer, editor, and disability advocate. I'm a multiply disabled autistic lady doing my best in this world built for abled people. I’m a geek for grammar, fantasy, and casual gaming. I hate vegetables. I cannot reliably speak, so I’ll happily conduct business over email or messaging instead.