5 Things a Northerner Can Teach the Southern Belles

I spent the first half of this week as the token Yankee* at the We Blog Conference in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. We all had a great time, and it was nice to be able to meet and get to know every single person there. There were 10 of us.

(* Those of us who live north of the Mason-Dixon line do not call ourselves Yankees. Except for the men who play on that New York City baseball team. My family, however, does not root for the Yankees… We’re Mets fans.)

But as the only Northerner in the room, there are a few things I could definitely teach my new Southern friends, with my tongue firmly in my cheek:

1. Coke = Coca-Cola. It’s a brand name. We call it soda up here. Pop, which still sounds weird to me, is at least another generic term. If I ask for a Coke, there’s only one thing I want. “What kind?” is silly.
2. No, it’s not considered sassing if you call us “Ma’am” up here. But the only people who use “Ma’am” are restaurant servers and store clerks or salespeople, and they only use it when they think you’re too old to call “Miss.” Although the smart waiters at the restaurant will call you “Miss” even if you’re wrinkled and gray, because they might get bigger tips for the flattery.
3. Oh, and we don’t say “sassing” either. My son does get timeouts for “talking back” though. 🙂
4. “You all” is two words. Although we generally just say “you,” unless we’re singing along to the Drive Shaft song “You All Everybody” from LOST. It’s fun to hear you say “y’all” though!
5. You may need to remind us to slow down when we’re talking if you can’t understand us. We do pretty much everything faster up here, including talking.

I had such a great time with the “I See GOATS” girls. (It’s an inside joke, but I mention it here in case you’ve wondered why I talk about goats on Twitter. If you really must know, it started when Christy told us about her goat named Punjab.)

Thanks for the fun and the educational experience, ladies!

Christina Gleason (976 Posts)

That’s me: Christina Gleason. I’m a writer, editor, and disability advocate. I'm a multiply disabled autistic lady doing my best in this world built for abled people. I’m a geek for grammar, fantasy, and casual gaming. I hate vegetables. I cannot reliably speak, so I’ll happily conduct business over email or messaging instead.