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I almost cried tonight. It was bad enough last night when TJ decided that he only wanted to rock for about 30 seconds before he climbed into his big boy bed, and the night before when he jumped up out of my lap as soon as Daddy walked in the room – but he didn’t want to rock at all tonight.
He was sitting on the Ottoman when I came into his room, and when I sat down in the rocking chair, I had to practically beg him to come and sit with me. As soon as he climbed up on my lap, he gave me a quick hug, then said, “I’m done.”
As he started trying to climb down, I asked him what he was done with. “I’m done rocking.” He didn’t seem to care when I said I wasn’t done rocking.
“I want to go in mine big boy bed and have Daddy read three books.”
“But Daddy’s not up here yet. Why don’t you rock with me until he gets back?”
“No, I’m done rocking. I get in mine big boy bed.”
Pretending to cry had no effect on him. Reminding him that rocking with Mommy has been part of his bedtime routine for months and months had no effect on him. Daddy telling him that he was hurting Mommy’s feelings had no effect on him.
“TJ, why don’t you rock with Mommy? You hurt her feelings.”
“Yeah.”
“Did you know you hurt her feelings?”
“Yeah.”
He didn’t even want me to read to him. When I sat down next to his bed and tried, he screamed and said he wanted Daddy to read his three books to him. So I came back downstairs.
I was crushed.
I was only slightly mollified when he was prompted to call down the stairs to me and apologize for hurting my feelings. I went back upstairs to hug him, and he let me tuck him back into bed and read to him. (As long as Daddy was sitting there, too.)
It’s the end of an era. I wasn’t ready to give this up.
That’s me: Christina Gleason. I’m a writer, editor, and disability advocate. I'm a multiply disabled autistic lady doing my best in this world built for abled people. I’m a geek for grammar, fantasy, and casual gaming. I hate vegetables. I cannot reliably speak, so I’ll happily conduct business over email or messaging instead.
