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After TJ’s bath tonight, he began talking about monsters. As I came upstairs to help get him ready for bed, he was very focused on them. Tom had reassured him that there were no monsters in his room. No monsters under his bed. No monsters in his bathroom.
I tucked him into bed. Tom read him his three books and kissed him good night.
One minute later, TJ was banging on his door saying he had to go potty. I went back upstairs and helped him onto the potty. But he didn’t really have to go – it was just his way of getting one of us into his room as quickly as possible.
“Mommy, the monsters…”
“There’s no monsters, buddy.”
That wasn’t enough to comfort him, of course. So I grabbed the can of Oust off the bathroom counter and told him it was Monster Spray. I sprayed it in every corner of his room, over his bed, by his closet, and in his bathroom. Monster Spray works to keep monsters away all night, by the way.
I helped him off the potty, and he didn’t want to get back into bed. Even the Monster Spray hadn’t dispelled his fears. It was very strange, because he’d never even talked about monsters before, and all of a sudden he was too afraid to go to bed because he’s afraid of monsters!
“The black things in Daddy’s game…”
“What, buddy?”
“Daddy killed them. In his game. Daddy killed the monsters.”
Oh. The light bulb went on in my head. TJ had been watching Tom play Dragon Quest on his Nintendo DS, and apparently he got all freaked out about the monsters in the game.
Tom won’t be playing that game while TJ is awake anymore.
Tom came in and tried to convince him to go back to bed.
“No, I want to protect Mommy,” my sweet little angel replied. “I want to protect her.”
*melts*
After Tom left, TJ decided he wanted to rock with me in the rocking chair. This was huge, because he’d decided a few weeks ago that he was “all done” rocking with me. Forever. I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to rock with my boy now!
As we rocked, he asked me to “sing the song.” (Our song is Billy Joel’s “Lullaby.”) I sang. Then I tried to get up to put him back to bed. He screamed and held on to me even tighter. So I sat back down.
We rocked for a few more minutes until I felt him relax and fall asleep. When he falls asleep, he takes a big intake of breath and lets it out slowly.
I tucked him back into bed. As I was walking away, he rolled over and mumbled something about monsters.
You don’t have to be afraid of monsters, Pooks. I’ll always protect you and keep you safe. And I’ll let you protect me, too.
That’s me: Christina Gleason. I’m a writer, editor, and disability advocate. I'm a multiply disabled autistic lady doing my best in this world built for abled people. I’m a geek for grammar, fantasy, and casual gaming. I hate vegetables. I cannot reliably speak, so I’ll happily conduct business over email or messaging instead.
