Watching Parenthood Makes Me Cry

This was originally posted a few months ago elsewhere. I wanted to repost it here for a wider audience. Anything related to time is no longer accurate.

It’s Tuesday, which means that Parenthood is on tonight. The last two episodes have made me cry. The drama may seem overblown to some people, but for me and a lot of people I know – what gets us is how real it is. Especially for those of us who are intimately familiar with Asperger Syndrome.

Two weeks ago, the episode ended with Adam and Kristina arguing with Crosby over losing their behavioral aide, and Max overheard Adam shouting that he had Asperger’s. The tears started streaming down my face when everyone stopped shouting and looked at Max as he said, “I have Asperger’s?”

Because this is a conversation I’m going to have to have with TJ someday.

My breath caught a few times when they sat down and talked with Max about Asperger’s Syndrome last week. How do you tell your kid what Asperger Syndrome is? Or autism? It’s hard enough to understand as an adult. I had to chuckle when Adam told Max that his brain was wired differently, and Max replied that his brain doesn’t have wires. So literal, just like my TJ.

Although when Max asked his parents if either of them had Asperger’s, I may have a different response. I haven’t been formally diagnosed, but if I don’t have Asperger Syndrome, I’m right on the line. (It’s what makes me so picky about grammar and spelling. And food. Among other things.) So I can empathize with him, because I know what it can be like. And you may not know because of my dazzling online personality (hehe) but I’m really quite socially awkward in person. There were no behavioral aides back when I was growing up to help me with my social skills.

And TJ doesn’t really need a behavioral aide at this point, either. His Asperger’s is rather mild compared to someone like Max. (Enough that I’ve heard whispers that he can’t really have Asperger’s Syndrome. “He’s just being a little boy.”) But he does have his moments. His obsessions. His literal thinking. His inability to maintain eye contact. His emotionally oversensitivity. And his epic, epic meltdowns. We can’t forget those.

I’m too much like Kristina in the mothering department, too. Her fears and her worries, often feeling at the end of her rope. We spell our names differently, but they sound identical out loud. I’ll often turn to my husband Tom and say, “I’m not like that, am I?” And he’ll say, “No, honey, you’re not that bad.” And then I wonder if he’s being honest or just placating me.

So I’ll be watching Parenthood again tonight. I don’t know whether or not I’ll cry this week, but I do have a big, crazy family like the Bravermans. How can you relate to the Bravermans? Is there another TV family that resonates with you?

Christina Gleason (976 Posts)

That’s me: Christina Gleason. I’m a writer, editor, and disability advocate. I'm a multiply disabled autistic lady doing my best in this world built for abled people. I’m a geek for grammar, fantasy, and casual gaming. I hate vegetables. I cannot reliably speak, so I’ll happily conduct business over email or messaging instead.