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I read a blog post today from a woman who was appalled by a warning to girls not to wear short skirts to frat parties because they will get raped. She wanted to know why we’re still blaming women instead of the men who rape them, and suggested that we teach boys not to be rapists. (Can’t find the link; comment if you can help me.)
As the mother of a little boy, I agree, and it got me thinking of what we can all do to teach our boys not to become monsters. What I came up with should not only help us teach our sons not to be rapists, but it should help protect them from sexual predators, too.
What to Teach Little Boys (Toddlers and Preschoolers)
Be nice to everyone.
It’s not nice to touch ladies on their chests.
It’s not nice to touch anyone else’s private parts, which means anywhere under their underwear.
If you don’t want to hug or kiss someone else, you don’t have to.
No one else should touch your private parts, except when you go to the doctor and Mommy or Daddy is in the room. (Exceptions apply when boys still need help bathing and toileting, and if you use a rectal thermometer.)
If someone touches you in a way you don’t like, tell Mommy or Daddy.
What to Teach School Age Boys
Be respectful to everyone, boys and girls alike.
You shouldn’t touch anyone else’s private parts, and no one should touch yours.
Don’t hit, kick, bite, or otherwise hurt anyone.
What to Teach Teenage Boys
Be respectful to girls.
Don’t talk down to girls.
It’s never okay to hit, kick, push, or otherwise hurt a girl.
Hugs and kisses are fine unless a girl says no. Anything else requires permission from the girl before you try.
If a girl says NO, then you need to stop whatever it was you were trying to do.
Never pressure a girl to do something she doesn’t want to do.
Being respectful includes being responsible; if she does say yes, always use protection.
Never tell your friends that you did something with a girl that didn’t happen. You really shouldn’t tell them what you did do, either.
Did I miss anything?
Leave me a comment if you would like me to add anything else to the list. We need to raise our boys to be good men.
That’s me: Christina Gleason. I’m a writer, editor, and disability advocate. I'm a multiply disabled autistic lady doing my best in this world built for abled people. I’m a geek for grammar, fantasy, and casual gaming. I hate vegetables. I cannot reliably speak, so I’ll happily conduct business over email or messaging instead.
Great advice…I’d probably add don’t do anything with a girl till you’ve been married for five years, but then I’m a tad overprotective ():o)
Wow. You beat me to it by a few years, and your advice is even more timely today.
I wish it wasn’t still relevant. I hate that it’s probably going to be timely for years to come.