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I was speaking with Thom Singer “The Conference Catalyst” briefly before his keynote began, and he told me another attendee had commented to him earlier that she was tired. He said that’s okay, because he’s going to wake us all up – hopefully in a good, non-obnoxious way. His energy level is pretty high, so hopefully that helps a crowd that has been becoming increasingly exhausted as the conference goes on. (So much to learn, so many people to see! Such limited time to do it!) Thom is working the room before speaking, so the IRL has already begun!
The Power of IRL
Changing the Perspective
A like, a link, a share, or a follow is not really a friendship. Reset your perspective. Go back to basics and build friendships.
Human Engagement
You cannot build your business alone if you’re hiding. Thom is going to reframe E-mc2 for us.
“If you roll your eyes, I can see you!”
Networking is the connection of long-term, mutually beneficial relationships between two or more people that create success for all parties involved.
Engagement = Meaningful Connections between 2 or more people.
Marketplace
In order to stand out, people need to feel good about you. That’s why it’s important to give people attention through social media. Online networking is the same as IRL networking.
Some Assembly is Required
Thom is not the first person to speak about networking. He’s not the first person to write about it, either. But he thinks he does it differently. You need to take your theory, idea, or concept, and figure out what you’re going to do with them. You have to get the pieces working together like a fine-oiled machine.
There’s a WOW moment when the kid comes down on Christmas morning and sees a brand new bike waiting in front of the Christmas tree. It’s a much different experience if there’s only a box of bike parts sitting there.
“I’m So Busy.”
We’re all busy. It’s a cop out. It’s all about choices. You choose not to do things.
Over the next week, he challenges us to ask our friends, neighbors, etc. “How’s it going?” Oftentimes, the answer is, “Oh, I’m so busy.” Don’t use that as a shield.
Too Much Information
Thom does not have to explain information overload to us. My table is saying they’re experiencing it right now. We get text, we get email, and we think we have to deal with it immediately. We don’t have time to look up and choose the people around us. We’re losing opportunity. All opportunity in our lives come from people.
Thom’s dad would turn 100 next month if he hadn’t passed away last December. He knew how to email and check his stocks online and everything right up until the end. He was born 11 years after the Wright Brothers made their first flight at Kitty Hawk.
Thom was chastised for checking his phone while playing cards with his dad. We need to choose to be with the people we’re with when we’re together IRL. Have a “no screens at the table” policy. (This is a rule I have to follow when I go to lunch with my family.)
CHOOSE REAL PEOPLE.
A Top Reason…For Attending
There’s a time and place to check your phone. He usually speaks for opening keynotes in order to convince people to be more social at each respective conference. Take ownership of connecting with people at conferences.
Why?
You may not be able to have coffee together in-person when you go home after the conference, but you can have a tele-coffee with friends. Or Wine and Skype.
This is not a Junior High Dance. It’s a grown-up event where people are here to connect.
Introverts can be better networkers. When you go to an event and start to feel the energy drain, you can block out the large part of the room and only focus on the 2 or 3 people you’re talking to. Be true to yourself. Ask questions and let other people talk to you when you can’t come up with things to say.
Cooperative Significance
People always tell Thom they want to be significant, to make a difference. You can fake success.You can’t fake significant. You can’t be significant alone in a field. Other people decide if you are significant.
What are you doing to help other people feel significant? Don’t just write about yourself. Write about your friends. He writes a feature that he calls, “Cool Things My Friends Did.” If you aren’t making an effort to talk about other people and give them significance, why would they make an effort to talk you up?
The Brand Called YOU!
Thom almost dropped this part of his speech because he’s been talking to other attendees and knows that we “get” personal branding.
A brand is a promise of how you will behave.
The little decisions you make impact big things forever. They implant on other people’s brains. The way you treat people is what they’re going to remember.
The Power of Community
Community is not a like, a link, a share, or a follow. It’s how many people, when you break down on the side of the road, will leave their house and come get you. (I found who my real community is when my dad died.) Community is knowing you have people to call. Be the person that other people will know to call. Takers are running the world, but the givers are watching. Generosity of spirit does get noticed.
Follow Up
Do something that says you’re special. You don’t have to friend everyone on Facebook or connect on LinkedIn. “The Coffee, Meal, or Beer Rule.” Thom doesn’t connect with these people on Facebook or LinkedIn unless he’s sat down and had a drink or a meal with – or the virtual equivalent. But he’ll follow anyone on Twitter. (He followed be before breakfast this morning. Thanks!)
Pick three people who made your trip to Atlanta worthwhile. When you get home, send them a hand-written note or call them, and let them know that. (I didn’t get many business cards from people, so I may have to do the virtual equivalent.)
Consistency
Little things that you do consistently will add up. It can take five years to build a real community this way. Start choosing people now.
It’s Not Just About Business
The reality is, any time you’re dealing with humans, the person on the other side of that relationship has their own “stuff.” Sometimes it’s good stuff. Sometimes it’s bad stuff. When you’re part of a community, you know all about the “stuff.” The good stuff. We don’t talk about the bad stuff because we don’t know what to say. (The people who’ve had the bad stuff happen, we know who’s avoiding us and we remember. That makes the people who do make the effort to reach out so much more important to us.)
Thom just told us an amazing story about how his extended network found him a pediatric neurosurgeon who helped his daughter who was born with a very rare condition. I couldn’t type as I was listening because I was hanging on every word. There are tears in my eyes. (His daughter is fine now.) You literally never know who will become relevant in our lives as time goes by.
Compounded Generosity
Little things add up. You don’t have to be rich to make a difference.
That’s me: Christina Gleason. I’m a writer, editor, and disability advocate. I'm a multiply disabled autistic lady doing my best in this world built for abled people. I’m a geek for grammar, fantasy, and casual gaming. I hate vegetables. I cannot reliably speak, so I’ll happily conduct business over email or messaging instead.
