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I’m more than a little bit late posting my “weekly” experience with the Inner Mean Girl Cleanse challenge. You see, Week 3 was all about obligation – that little voice telling us what we have to do.
I was talking to Stacey Weckstein (@MomRenewal) at the Type-A Mom Conference this past weekend about how I was so far behind on my Self-Love Ambaassador duties because I hadn’t written my Week 3 post yet, and she made me feel slightly better when she told me that most of the other ambassadors were in the same boat as me. “Maybe we should have covered Obligation in Week 6!”
And then I laughed and agreed with her, because our task for Week 3 was to “do it from love, or don’t do it.” In other words, if we didn’t feel like doing one of those many things that we have to do all the time, we shouldn’t do it. Apparently for me and everyone else, we didn’t feel the love for our Inner Mean Girl Cleanse posts that week! (Sorry, IMG Cleanse ladies. It’s nothing personal. It was just a crazy week!)
I did try to take my weekly lesson to heart. Instead of making a “to-do list,” we were encouraged to make a “get-to-do list.” We shouldn’t look at our obligations as things we must do. Instead, we should try to look at these as things we get to do. Like, “Yay! I get to do this today!”
I made my get-to-do list on a sticky note, which I posted on my desk just above eye level. I looked at it all the time, but I didn’t feel the love for the things I was going to “get to do” that day. Or the next day. Or the day after that. It’s not that I didn’t do anything that was supposed to get done during that time, but there were certain things I just dragged my heels about because I wasn’t feeling inspired. As a writer, I really do need to feel inspired to get most of my work done. And I just wasn’t feeling it.
I have a new get-to-do list stuck on my desk today. I’ve done two out of the six things on it. And whether or not I really feel like it’s a privilege to “get to do” some of them, there’s at least two other things that must get done today. It’s not just my Inner Mean Girl using that nasty M word – it’s the people who are waiting on me for a response or a professional deadline. They don’t particularly care if I’m trying to become more self-actualized here; they need me to take care of my reponsibilities.
So it’s still going to be a struggle for me, this obligation thing. But I’m going to try to view more of my obligations as something more positive. Even if I don’t really feel like writing and editing that batch of articles my client wants today, I do at least feel blessed that I have that business relationship with them that allows me the freedom to work at my own pace and be my own boss. There’s that at least.
And now it’s time for me to play catch up on my Week 4 lessons…Unrealistic expectations.
That’s me: Christina Gleason. I’m a writer, editor, and disability advocate. I'm a multiply disabled autistic lady doing my best in this world built for abled people. I’m a geek for grammar, fantasy, and casual gaming. I hate vegetables. I cannot reliably speak, so I’ll happily conduct business over email or messaging instead.
